I always seem to find a reason to nurse my baby in the middle of the night, even if it has only been one hour since the last feed. Last night, he was moaning in his sleep, which I tried to ignore until it turned into a cry. A couple of times he coughed and sounded a little hoarse so I decided that denying him a drink would be cruel. He spent most of the night in bed with me apart from 7:30-11:00 (during which time he still had two wake ups but went back in the cot) and 3:00-4:00 (I thought I had better try putting him back in the cot).
Today I would really like him to feed better. But it really doesn't seem to matter what I want, as he will either feed well or not. All I can do is keeping offering it to him.
I have been reading about the Pick Up Put Down (PUPD) method of settling to sleep, put forward by the baby whisperer. It basically involves picking your baby up for 2 minutes when they are crying, putting them back down, picking them up when they start crying again etc. I am not convinced that my little man's temperament will allow this to be a successful method but it might be worth a try at some point.
It has also occurred to me that if my baby was asleep through his disturbances last night, perhaps I ought to have left him to self-settle. Especially when he was moaning and flapping rather than crying. It is hard to know what to do for the best.
My husband wonders if it is time to put him in his own room. I just don't feel ready for that yet. But I do think it is worth getting him used to his own room so that when I am ready, he is ready too. We need to spend some time in there changing, playing etc so he is used to it. That will be quite nice actually.
Currently, my little one is napping upstairs. He went down very easily! The other factor I have thought of which makes daytime different to nighttime is the blanket we use. It is a star blanket with a hood. I would use it at night but am too worried about SIDS. Especially as he doesn't yet have the wherewithall to pull a cloth away from his own face.
I really hope he feeds better today. It will be one less thing to worry about.
Thursday, 12 November 2015
Wednesday, 11 November 2015
Glimmer of Hope
(this could be considered one of those 'denial' moments)
I have noticed that my baby goes down for naps in the daytime with a lot less effort on my part these days (most of the time). He needs his dummy and a bit of a rock, but he drifts off pretty easily and I have even had a few times where I have put him down, he has opened his eyes but with a hand on his chest, he has floated off to la-la land. If he is in his pushchair at the right time of day, he will also fall asleep in there. So this is progress.
I have also noticed that baby can easily go for 4 hours between feeds during the day, especially if some of that time is spent asleep.
So why is it so hard at night?
I am starting to wonder if it is my state of mind.
During the day the naps are less high stakes because I am not relying on them in order to get sleep myself. So I am more relaxed putting him down and I am also more reliant on cues from him that he is tired and ready for a nap. In contrast, in the evening he has a bedtime imposed on him and I am more stressed about him going to sleep. The same goes for the middle of the night.
I feel like maybe if I resign myself to sleepless night and treat his wake ups a bit more like I do his naps, I might actually see an improvement?
The other factor is his feeding. He has it the wrong way round - he should be going for 4 hours at night, not during the day? I think maybe I am going to have to try not to feed him back to sleep in the night and then he might be more hungry during the daytime. This is going to require more effort on my part to get him sleeping, but maybe, just maybe it will be worth it. We'll see. Watch this space.
I have noticed that my baby goes down for naps in the daytime with a lot less effort on my part these days (most of the time). He needs his dummy and a bit of a rock, but he drifts off pretty easily and I have even had a few times where I have put him down, he has opened his eyes but with a hand on his chest, he has floated off to la-la land. If he is in his pushchair at the right time of day, he will also fall asleep in there. So this is progress.
I have also noticed that baby can easily go for 4 hours between feeds during the day, especially if some of that time is spent asleep.
So why is it so hard at night?
I am starting to wonder if it is my state of mind.
During the day the naps are less high stakes because I am not relying on them in order to get sleep myself. So I am more relaxed putting him down and I am also more reliant on cues from him that he is tired and ready for a nap. In contrast, in the evening he has a bedtime imposed on him and I am more stressed about him going to sleep. The same goes for the middle of the night.
I feel like maybe if I resign myself to sleepless night and treat his wake ups a bit more like I do his naps, I might actually see an improvement?
The other factor is his feeding. He has it the wrong way round - he should be going for 4 hours at night, not during the day? I think maybe I am going to have to try not to feed him back to sleep in the night and then he might be more hungry during the daytime. This is going to require more effort on my part to get him sleeping, but maybe, just maybe it will be worth it. We'll see. Watch this space.
Tuesday, 10 November 2015
Acceptance and Denial
I am like a pendulum swinging between two extremes: acceptance and denial. On the one hand, I accept that my baby wakes frequently during the night; on the other hand I am in denial about infinite sleepless nights and believe that if I just change or do one more thing, he will sleep better.
It is the mindset of the sleep deprived. Functioning but not quite thinking straight.
Acceptance doesn't seem very productive. Sleepless nights are affecting my health and emotional well being. I feel run down unsurprisingly. I feel guilty because there are times when I stop enjoying my baby. I think that is because I am desperate to sleep properly.
Don't worry, I love my baby and most of the time, I enjoy being with him. He is a delight and very humorous! It is just that sometimes, I need a proper break and it never comes.
The uncertainty also messes with my mind. If I get a good night, it will all be ok. That if never seems to come true. In fact, there is a certainty, I just don't want to admit it. The certainty is that my baby is always going to wake up.
The last couple of nights, I have got fed up by the third time getting up and pulled him into bed with us to feed him to sleep. I can at least nod off safely while feeding and it increases the sleep marginally. But that comes with its costs. Babies are messy of course. Whether it be vomit or wee, our bed now needs changing and that is frustrating because it is an extra job for me to do!
It is the mindset of the sleep deprived. Functioning but not quite thinking straight.
Acceptance doesn't seem very productive. Sleepless nights are affecting my health and emotional well being. I feel run down unsurprisingly. I feel guilty because there are times when I stop enjoying my baby. I think that is because I am desperate to sleep properly.
Don't worry, I love my baby and most of the time, I enjoy being with him. He is a delight and very humorous! It is just that sometimes, I need a proper break and it never comes.
The uncertainty also messes with my mind. If I get a good night, it will all be ok. That if never seems to come true. In fact, there is a certainty, I just don't want to admit it. The certainty is that my baby is always going to wake up.
The last couple of nights, I have got fed up by the third time getting up and pulled him into bed with us to feed him to sleep. I can at least nod off safely while feeding and it increases the sleep marginally. But that comes with its costs. Babies are messy of course. Whether it be vomit or wee, our bed now needs changing and that is frustrating because it is an extra job for me to do!
Tuesday, 3 November 2015
Toothy Pegs
Yesterday we spied two little toothy pegs just about to erupt through the surface of our little man's lower gum. The suspicions that he has been teething are finally confirmed! Today they have just popped through the surface. We cannot help but think (and hope!) that this could account for the sleepless nights.
Today he has obediently napped for half an hour early this morning and is now on a lunchtime snooze. He has been out for the count for nearly an hour and a half! Finally, a decent nap! The flip-side is that we are missing baby yoga today. I just don't want to wake him because he obviously needs the kip and that is more important. We will just have to do some DIY baby yoga this afternoon at home.
The question is whether this will herald a better night's sleep tonight? I am hopeful that the worst of the toothache is over now as they have broken through the gum but as with anything for a first time mum, I might be being a little naive?!
Time will tell.
Today he has obediently napped for half an hour early this morning and is now on a lunchtime snooze. He has been out for the count for nearly an hour and a half! Finally, a decent nap! The flip-side is that we are missing baby yoga today. I just don't want to wake him because he obviously needs the kip and that is more important. We will just have to do some DIY baby yoga this afternoon at home.
The question is whether this will herald a better night's sleep tonight? I am hopeful that the worst of the toothache is over now as they have broken through the gum but as with anything for a first time mum, I might be being a little naive?!
Time will tell.
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