Cry Baby

I never believed the lady who told me that a mum's body physically reacts to the sound of a baby crying.  That was the case until the day I felt my boobs harden and buzz seconds before my baby started to cry for a feed.  It was further compounded when my boobs went mental upon hearing my sister's baby crying.  They started hurting and filling up and didn't stop until the baby stopped crying.  It was the weirdest sensation ever.  Biology is very clever like that.

But what about when your body doesn't react?  Sometimes my little man cries and it is like a primal instinct comes over to want to comfort him and do what ever I can to make it stop.  At other times he starts to cry and I have to tell myself to get up and see to him.  Maybe I am more tired when the latter situation occurs?  Maybe it is the type of cry?  I don't know.

Yet when someone suggested to me today that I could leave my baby to cry themselves to sleep, I was secretly horrified.  I did admit that I didn't think I was ready to do that but inside I wondered when I would ever be ready to do that.  Crying is a baby's only form of communication for some time.  They are so dependent on adults for absolutely everything and can't help themselves.  I do wonder though if I should draw the line at sleeping.  That is something they should be able to help themselves with surely?  The research does nothing to help.  Some schools of thought advocate the 'cry it out' method, claiming that baby eventually learns to self soothe.  On the other side of the fence are claims that this is emotionally damaging to children and leads to all sorts of attachment problems.

Unfortunately I have worked with emotionally damaged kids.  Their behaviour is all over the place and they often are unable to explain their actions.  It is thought that this stems from deep seated emotional damage that reaches beyond their rational memories.  They are unable to remember the events that made them feel bad but they remember the bad feeling.  But this is an extreme and I am sure that me leaving my baby to whinge once in a while is not going to ruin him.  But that sneaking feeling is already creeping back in as I type this - what if it did?

I could drive myself mad and go round in ever-ending circles with this debate.  There really does not seem to be a simple answer.

At the moment, I think that my baby is only 16 weeks old and there is nothing wrong with me comforting him when he is upset or helping him get to sleep with a little cuddle.  I must remember that we have made progress from a month ago when I was unable to put him down for naps at all and had to hold him in my arms.  The amount of time he sleeps for is hugely variable but he is sleeping better in the daytime than he used to.  Small victories must be counted as blessings.

For now, my cry baby is going to have his mummy's comfort whenever he needs it.