Miss you Mummy

I know that my baby misses me in the night.  When he wakes up and feels confused that he is sitting upright, he wants me to make it better.  I know that he needs me.  I get that.  I just wish that he could stay asleep for extended periods of time and need me less often.  

I know he misses me in the night and I miss him too.  While his daddy is working away, it is so tempting to just pull him into bed with me all night.  We might both get more sleep this way (or not... I am not deluded).  But it wouldn't be fair to set up this pattern to then insist he goes back in his cot upon his daddy's return.  So I must persist with settling him.  SEVEN times last night.  It felt relentless.  

A well meaning friend has suggested that controlled crying isn't as bad as I might think and that after a couple of nights, her baby is now sleeping through most of the time.  My problem is that I know that we could get through the crying, but I worry about the effects of any period of crying (without comfort) on my baby.  Until I can explain to him what I am doing in a way he understands, I just don't feel comfortable about it. 

Needing or even wanting warmth and comfort in the dark hours is normal.  Why else do we pair up as a species and sleep next to each other in double beds?  I want my baby to know love and care.  24 hours a day.  And I suppose that comes with a price.  My sleep.  

I just hope I am up to the job.